Hi all

Let me start with; I have served in the military for over 21 years. When I deal with young soldiers on a daily basis, I see lots of different situations arise. One is the marriage. Often this not so well planned marriages fail in the first year, and even repair themselves in some cases. It seem that in the civilian world infidelity is more concentrated to men having the highest ratio, claiming that women only do it out of loneliness and emotional reasons. Let me express that no one should cheat on their partner and there are times when a partner, male or female, should listen to their spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend’s relationship concerns.

Back to the main reason of this article however; I don’t want to say that men cheat more or that women cheat less, I just want the folks who make these poll understand that meeting a guy or girl in the club while your husband/wife is overseas somewhere is not the answer. There is no emotion involved in meeting some random person at the beach, or any other random place. A young woman once told me, “He was there for me” and yet she was in the club kissing another guy the next night according to several different source. She even offered up the information to another soldier, not even realizing that I was in another room listening. Many of the soldiers in units will readily point out a male or female who is having an extra marital affair, even if they too were involved at sometime.

The subject of men and women cheating is a dangerous subject, I mean I could just as easy say that I have seen more women cheat on their husbands than the reverse. We all know that there are bad guys out there, and no one is innocent in a relationship, but there are hundreds of blog sites and web pages debating this subject. Authors writing books on this subject, and who the woman’s emotional issues or the man sexual addiction evolves to “destroy a wonderful marriage”. I have found that in the military, some of these marriages were destined for failure in the first place.

The reasons are too numerous to even think about. Some of the reason were;

1. What do you think they are doing while they are deployed.
2. When the cat’s away the mouse will play
3. You just can’t sit around all day wait for him/her to come back.

And this list can go on and on. I had a single soldier go out to a club with his friends one night. He came in the following Monday with a look of disgust and shame on his face. The first words out of his mouth were, “Myself and another soldier form another unit would like to talk withe you”. The other soldier was single mom. The two soldiers informed me of an encounter they’d noticed while one was at the club and the other was baby sitting for the person involved. The single mom asked ; “it’s your husband deployed at this time”? The answer was “yes, but I am sure that he is not so innocent!” The wife of that particular service member had been staying away from home so much that the child involved was practically living with the single mom soldier. The fact that she had not been home enough to receive a phone call from her husband’s deployed unit, lead to the soldier(who recognized her at the club at the club) asking her how was her husband doing in light of his injuries he sustained while overseas in front the guy she was smoozing with. This and other situations are common to the scenario of infidelity for both men and women in the military. There are stories of spouses emptying out bank accounts and fleeing to their home state or somewhere else, as well as running off with a best friend, the ploy that one sex cheats more than the other is actually unresolved. Let’s be realistic and say that there are folks in the world that aren’t ready to settle down in a relationship, but while still do it anyway thinking they are. Only to ruin someone’s else life while trying to find happiness for themselves. And i ask: So you want to talk infidelity huh?!?

Image Credit